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What Kind of Mother book jacket

New Release — Spiegel & Grau

What Kind of Mother

A moving memoir that offers a vital new perspective on adoption—from the rarely glimpsed birth mother's point of view.

"The adoption story we've needed for decades. Brave, beautiful, impossible to forget."

—Minka Kelly, author of Tell Me Everything


Bernadette Murphy, author

About the Author

Bernadette Murphy is an author/essayist, a NYT-bestselling collaborative writer, and a professor of creative writing.


About the Book

What kind of mother gives up her son?

Bernadette Murphy grew up the "miracle child" of her immigrant Irish Catholic family, arriving unexpectedly after her mother's difficulty conceiving and her parents' adoption of her older brother. Three more siblings followed, and as her once-glamorous mother sank deeper into depression, and her father struggled to support the family, Bernadette grew up quickly and cared for her brothers and sister.

When Bernadette's first love resulted in a pregnancy at age sixteen, faced with limited options and a belief, from her Catholic upbringing, that abortion was a sin, she made the impossible choice to give up the baby for adoption.

More than forty years later, Bernadette, the mother of three other grown children she raised and still living with deep-rooted shame and guilt for having given up her son, was consumed by thoughts of the boy she relinquished. What did he think of her, if he thought of her at all? Was he angry, troubled, content? As she launched a desperate search for her firstborn, she began writing him letters, describing her life and explaining her decision.

At once an incisive, affecting memoir of a childhood filled with hardship and love and the story of a birth mother's quest to find her son and forgive herself, What Kind of Mother challenges our assumptions about adoption, opening up an important conversation about family, love, and possibility.

What Kind of Mother interior image

Bernadette Murphy

About Bernadette

Bernadette Murphy is a first-generation Angeleno, and the daughter of Irish immigrants. She is the author of five books and a New York Times-bestselling collaborative writer, working with celebrities and other public figures.

Her personal works include the bestselling Zen and the Art of Knitting (Adams Media/Simon & Schuster) and Harley and Me: Embracing Risk on the Road to a More Authentic Life (Counterpoint Press), a hybrid narrative that combines memoir with research into neuroscience and biology to explore risk-taking through the lens of female motorcycling.

Her essays on life, religion, and literature have appeared in LitHub, Ms. Magazine, The Rumpus, Palm Springs Life, Climbing Magazine, New York Observer, and elsewhere. Previously, she served as a weekly book critic for the Los Angeles Times, and as an associate professor for the MFA program at Antioch University Los Angeles. Currently, she teaches at The Newport MFA at Salve Regina University in Rhode Island.

When not writing, she pursues outdoor adventures—rock and ice climbing, backcountry skiing, mountain biking, backpacking—as well as quieter interests like meditation, knitting, and reading. She raised three outstanding young adults and is in joyous reunion with the son she relinquished for adoption. She lives with her spouse in Park City, Utah.


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